No one mentions it but the grey elephant in the room is menopause. People have told me that some younger men are attracted to middle aged women, but I would feel like an idiot dating a man in his 30's my son's age and I would always question the motive of a man 20 years younger than myself who claims interest in me. I stayed in and retired. Just a decently attractive woman who takes good care of herself, can run a couple of miles, carry on a conversation, and is kind of outdoorsy. I wanted to find a partner with whom I could start rebuilding my life. My job requires me to travel a great deal. The adventurous give online dating a try, and the courageous turn to therapy to help them heal.
I have tried many dating sites but have not found any of them that worked for me. The problem is that most men either want it all or they want to play the field. Your life is what you make of it, and your choices reflect your character. The beauty of dating at our age, at least for me, is that without the pressure to couple up and have kids, we can spend time getting to know someone. The size of our group is growing by leaps and bounds. No one bats an eye on folks shacking up anymore so social pressures are all but non-existent.
Be friends with them , treat with some kindness. I am speaking of having an intimate loving relationship with someone you can trust in addition to having girlfriends. I am 52 and have never married but wanted to if I had found her. The only people winning are the lawyers and authoritarian systems eroding us. I think many people today no matter what age they are, still are looking for the same thing, someone to make their life more enjoyable when they come home after work. I think online dating just makes woman fantasize about their ideal and perfect mate. And I have to add, being divorced is not a badge of honor.
Not to mention all the family dynamics just to scary I think. I do enjoy a relationship and all it holds for both involved. And maybe some of it is that some women feel there should be some grand karmic payback in the form of a dashing white knight for all the years they sacrificed to their kids and ex-husband. That said, I wish you all well in your pursuit. We go to movies, museums and often he cooks dinner for me at his place. It offers freedom and companionship. I could have told you this eventual outcome just listening to his Ode to My Amazing Girlfriend yammering on the panel.
I was divorced at 44 for the younger woman and children were not an issue. Someone does look after them. At least not right now. They are all 50-something, empty-nesters and divorced. A strong person can take care of themself completely.
Ulterior motives are a high possibility in these kind of relationships. When we looked at the cause of the divorce, her belief what that it was pretty much all my fault for being a bad husband and person , yet friends and coworkers told me they thought I was trying very hard and making all of the requisite sacrifices. I am not hostile towards them, even though not interested usually. I personally prefer someone my age or a little older. Even at age fifty or sixty or seventy, people are still learning about creating and recovering from breakups. You never know when you will meet a crazy. Well, he was no longer the boyfriend.
You say that you are not comfortable with what he does, well that means it does not work for you. Has to be a reason they are divorced, especially more than once, and I doubt very much that it was all his fault. Like many women, I raised my children, ran a household and worked as much then as I do now. I think when we get older I am 60 now I still cannot believe this though lol that we start to look more at our own mortality. Learn to cook from scratch for yourself, not box in a microwave! I wonder if anyone will really wonder why I might end it all one of these days. Growing older actually means increased experience with relationships of many kinds.
Scheming in ways to shirk his responsibility of helping pay our mortgage and any other bills! You must have done research on all of this in eight years of the futility of online dating. Tom chronicles his dating adventures in the year following his separation in a collection of brief 1-2 page articles. The column developed a following because so many people were in the same situation as I—middle aged, alone, trying to make ends meet, and trying to find a mate. Is that so much to ask??? The sunrises are as beautiful as always. Cheating with every bar fly they meet ,escort,or stripper.
You had to meet potential partners on your own or through networking with friends and family. We are at very different places in life. It is not fair, we take care of ourselves then hormones go away and we are stuck with this new look. But that strips the humanity right out of it, because a man is not a thing to be acquired any more than a woman is. So lighten up and enjoy. After 5 years, it was clear he had no future to offer: no pension, no retirement savings, a broken down house, no motivation to continue operating his small business. My oldest child will not start college until the fall.