What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Fruit flies like a banana Without geometry, life is pointless. Wife: Well, I guess we should go to a baby doctor. A good fart can make you feel good, its part of life and fully understood. No one wants to read a long joke just to find out it's not that funny. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix. In case he gets a hole in one! Funniest jokes of all times See also:. From fun modern Christmas cracker jokes to sometimes hilarious festive puns, these should entertain children, friends and relatives at parties and family gatherings.
Travelers would sometimes end up in Canada or Mexico. A small boy found it and he returned to her. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. Photo: Shutterstock How do snowmen get around? Who delivers presents to cats? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission. The problem concerns the Ringo beatle which infests tree bark and may escape and attack people's skin and lay eggs in their hair.
What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Farts are loud and some silent but deadly, you can make it sound like a medley. Money just seems to disappear into thin air. What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? It just let out a little wine. Photo: Shutterstock What is white and minty? What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks? Whether you pass wind or pass gas, either way, it comes out your ass. . Mother: How was school today, Patrick? Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! She just gets really far behind in her laundry.
Come on, it's a dead giveaway! The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother. The boy quickly replied with a charming smile and in a cockney accent, 'That's right, madam. Santa flies at least once a year! A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Because they have big fingers. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. Liked these Christmas one liners? Compasses for the pioneers traveling west were their first new endeavor. Women usually claim childbirth is the most painful experience of their lives. It goes from 0-60 in a minute. It must be saved for posterity. Then I ran over him and backed up to run into him again. What is the world's most popular wine? I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? If Santa brings you laughter, it's the best thing you could ask for. Every calendar's days are numbered. A backwards poet writes inverse. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. Woman never fart, but watch out when they do, it can be brutal, once their comfortable with you. Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
If you like these Friday jokes, have a look for an alphabetical list of joke topics. But, unfortunately, all the bowling league records were destroyed in a fire, so we will never know for whom the Tells bowled. All it was doing was collecting dust! I think it gets back to the first time I told my mom I loved her. What did the Mexican fireman name his twin sons? When a clock is still hungry, it goes back four seconds. This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Coimbatore Her name was Priya.
And I got a swing set out of the deal. Your wife will always blow your bonus! He was charged with shoplifting on two counts. Who runs the Keebler elves' answering service? What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Which football team did the baby Jesus support? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! Customer: Someone removed the appendix. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. Ten minutes later the boy farts again. She was working in a call center. What did Santa do when he went speed dating? It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
Then I realized they can handle it themselves. Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million… but if killed by the crocs…2 million will be given to the next of kin. How did the bauble get addicted to Christmas? Really Funny One Line Jokes About Vehicles ~ Vehicle Jokes - A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. What do you call a train loaded with toffee? Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minutes. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Funny Mother Jokes Group 1 Dear Mom, Thanks for being my mom.